Endings

In my work as a counsellor and supervisor, ‘endings’ feature as an important aspect of the therapeutic process, It could be the end of therapy, or supervision.

When something comes to and end, or and end is in sight, it can seem final, but then is that what an ending is?

‘All good things come to an end’, as they say, but so do bad things.

You can chose to end something, or maybe have to cope with an ending that has come about through circumstances beyond your control.  Endings can be planned, or unplanned.

Examples of endings could be a relationship, a job, bereavement.

‘When one door closes, another opens’.

Being able to let go of life patterns that are not doing you any good, creates an opportunity for change, for something new, more fulfilling, more suited to your needs.

An ending could be sad, but also freeing.

Maybe substituting another word for ‘ending’ gives another perspective?

How about ‘closure’, or ‘completion’? Emotional closure leads the way to a sense of well-being, of self awareness, self-worth. Feeling safe in your own world.

A happy ending , which we like in a film, or book gives us a sense of joy, of relief, maybe, that the hero/heroine rides off into the sunset, or meets the love of their life. Maybe its about taking this sense of fulfilment into our own lives.

The end of the day can be celebrated. Accept what did not go to plan, but acknowledge what went well for you, your achievements, however insignificant they may seem. This all tops up your ‘happy pot’ to help you to look forwards to the beginning of a new day.

A healthy ending to therapy

Ending, in a therapeutic sense, can be a learning curve in coping with endings in your life.

You might experience feelings of loss, or abandonment, or rejection. On the other hand, you may feel a sense of achievement, of success, of personal growth.

Unplanned endings can lead to feelings of rejection, self-doubt, confusion.

When past experiences of endings has been stressful, hurtful, this can affect the way you react to endings now. You may want to avoid the awkwardness of an ending. But being supported through an ending in therapy can be reparative, a way of moving forwards.

A ‘good ending’ validates your progress, leaves you feeling OK with yourself and your decision. Having self-respect creates self-worth. A healthy ending leaves you free to celebrate and explore what your future could be, looking forwards to new opportunities.

References

Rabinowitz, Y. L. et al. (2026) ‘Therapy endings or new beginnings: understanding the patient experience of termination in a time-limited relational therapy’, Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 39(2), pp. 318–337. doi: 10.1080/09515070.2025.2549272.

Slochower, J. (2025) ‘Ending, Not Quite Ending, and Not Ending At All’, The Psychoanalytic Quarterly, 94(3), pp. 411–434. doi: 10.1080/00332828.2025.2522115.