mindfulness

It’s OK to Forget

~ claire ballardie

We put a lot of focus on being able to remember things, beating ourselves up when we are forgetful. But your brain is wired to filter out unneccessary information, to declutter your mind, so that remembering what is important becomes easier. The ability to forget takes practice,  but this gives your brain space to organise memories more easily.

How we forget

If you imagine your mind as a cupboard, with over-flowing drawers, piles of stuff shoved to the back, it is difficult to find anything.

Similarly, your brain can be overloaded with memories, past experiences, or with worries, ‘what if’s’ about the future. These memories get in the way of being able to forget what is not useful or helpful.

what we forget

You forget where you put the car keys if your mind is on something else at the time. If you can actively forget information you do not need, and just concentrate on where your are putting your keys, you will remember where you our them.

Mindfulness is about being able to forget what is not important right now.

 

when we forget

The mind is clever at filtering out experiences which are frightening, overwhelming, traumatising, in an effort to regulate our nervous system, to keep us calm.

If we cannot forget, scary experiences, living in a permanent state of fear, we become anxious. If our mind is cluttered and unable to filter this can leading to psychological issues such as post traumatic stress. Counselling can help you rebalance the fear/safety process in your mind and body.

why we forget

We forget to protect ourselves from sadness, fear, distress. Sometimes it’s harde to forget what someone did or said to us we found hurtful. being able to forget, these feelings can help to restore a sense peace with unpleasant experiences.

Having new pleasant experiences can replace negative thoughts, memories, so we forget negativity, and see things in a more positive light.

Learning to forget

So, going back to our ‘mental wardrobe’, we need to have space in our ‘mental wardrobe for memories to be safely stored. `Some we will need easy access to, such as remembering tasks, locations, where we have been, what we have done. Storing it on you phone does’t count!

Memories are made, the filtered, and filed for easy retrieval. We forget by letting irrelevant information go, not keeping it in our active memory, so we don’t keep it ‘just in case’. Memories can be happy or sad.  We might like to hang on to happy memories, but want to forget feeling sad.

 

For example, you might imagine waves on a beach, washing away the sadness with each roll of the  surf. This sad memory would gradually fade away, leaving space for more making new happier memories.

 

References

Fawcett, J. M., & Taylor, T. L. (2010). Directed forgetting shares mechanisms with attentional withdrawal but not with stop-signal inhibition. Memory & cognition, 38(6), 797–808. https://doi.org/10.3758/MC.38.6.797

Fawcett, J. M., & Taylor, T. L. (2008). Forgetting is effortful: evidence from reaction time probes in an item-method directed forgetting task. Memory & cognition, 36(6), 1168–1181. https://doi.org/10.3758/MC.36.6.1168

The Language of Emotional Energy

~ claire ballardie

The Language of Emotional Energy

 Does your body speak to you? Do you listen when it does?

Do you ever have a ‘gut feeling’ about someone? A sense of joy perhaps, of feeling a connection with someone, but you don’t know why? Or perhaps you meet someone that you take an instant dislike to, a sense of foreboding? Emotional energy is created from the effect of your personal life experience.

 

The energy fuelling our emotion response is created by our nervous system. We may describe this as a ‘vibe’ or a ‘gut feeling’. We may meet someone who makes us feel safe, and calm, an instinct that we can trust them. Alternatively, someone may ‘gives us the creeps’, a sense that we need to steer clear of them. Emotional energy fuels joy, positivity, or is the driving force behind anger.

 

We can also connect with others with our emotional energy, by sensing what the other person feels, or needs in that moment. This is where compassion and empathy come in.

Energetic sensitivity

Having energetic awareness (mindfulness) is about noticing how your own emotional energy is at any given moment, in response to other people, or outside influences. It is about sensing what you, or the other person, needs. Sensitivity to this energetic response brings you in touch with your emotions, how you feel. Your ‘energy field’ can protect you if you feel afraid, a shield against unwelcome intrusions.

Energetic sensitivity enables us to be more aware of how we feel emotionally in the moment, in any situation we find ourselves in.

Intuition

Intuition is the ability to sense something, to respond instinctively, without the process of conscious thought. Our body lets us know something is amiss with physical sensations, such as a ‘gut reaction’ a knot in your stomach.

Trusting our intuition comes from developing energetic sensitivity. We become aware of emotion in others, if someone is tense, or relaxed and calm.

How emotional energy works for you

Giving off negative energy, a ‘keep away vibe’ , in situations you may find challenging, such as in a crowded room, will let others know you feel uncomfortable, with out uttering a word.

You can give off positive energy if you feel safe, confident. Being in the presence of someone who has a calming energy can give you a sense of safety, that it is OK to relax.

Paying attention to your own energetic responses, and those from other people, helps you to negotiate the world of connection to others, on your own terms. This can give you a sense of self-worth, confidence, and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

As a psychotherapist, I can work with you to find balance with your own  emotionally energy.

Contact me for more information.

Relaxation

~ claire ballardie

What is relaxation?

  • The ability to rest and recovery after work, physical effort, or mental challenges.
  • Doing something that you enjoy, for pleasure.
  • Finding a sense of peace, of fulfillment.
  • Feeling calm, safe, comfortable.

 

Why is it good for me?

  • It calms the nervous system, reducing stress, anxiety.
  • It slows your beathing and heart rate,
  • It reduces stress, improves sleep
  • It helps you to feel better about yourself, lifts your mood.
  • It improves rational thought, reducing the ‘what ifs’ and worries in your mind.

 

 

 

How do I relax?

  • Pay attention to your breath, focusing on calm, rhythmic breathing.
  • Send this calmness to where you feel tense in your body.
  • Move gently, stretching your muscles to shift tension.
  • Visualise a peaceful scene, imagining you are in a safe, calming place.

Summary

We can relax when we feel safe, and able to let go of our fears, our worries.

Relaxation is essential- without the ability to relax, we live in a permanent state of anxiety, you have need to ‘keep busy’.

So, let go of what you think you need to do right now, and just be present, pay attention to yourself. Feel safe, calm and take that deep breath right now. Relax.

Self Awareness

~ claire ballardie

Self awareness

How well do you know yourself? How do feel emotion in your body?Developing self-awareness helps to identify emotional triggers which cause anxiety. Once we notice what happens to us, both mentally and physically, we can start to  learn how to keep calm and focused on what we need to, improving our ability to concentrate. This in turn improves self-confidence and feeling more able to cope with daily life. Self-awarness can improve relationships, noticing  how we respond to other people and why.

In counselling, self-awareness can be helped by the following:

 

  • Talking therapy
  • Body awareness
  • Meditation
  • Relaxation and breathing techniques..
  • Learning more about yourself as a person.

Venturing into the realms of self-awareness takes bravery. Are you brave enough to open the door into the world of self-discovery?

Contact me for more details about how psychotherapy can help you..

 

Wellbeing Nature Days

~ claire ballardie

WELLBEING NATURE DAYS: Coming soon!

Come along for a restorative and relaxing experience.The day will be an introduction to a variety of calming  practices for you to try, including:

  • Meditation
  • Tai Chi
  • Drumming
  • and more………..

…………. all set in a beautiful private setting of woodland and streams.You will have the opportunity to connect with nature, with yourself and with others and will leave feeling relaxed, connected and empowered.

These workshops are run by two qualified psychotherapists, Claire Ballardie and Dawn Harding, who share a keen interest in wellbeing in nature. 

WHO IS IT FOR?

Open to adults (over 18 years) Come and join us for a wonderful day in a quiet and private setting, offering a unique and rustic feel among the woodland and fields.

WHERE?

Private setting in Market Lavington, near Devizes, Wiltshire.

 

YOUR HOSTS:


Claire Ballardie BA (Hons) MBACP

07710 420357

claire@wiltshire-wellbeing.co.uk

 

 

Dawn Harding Dip.Couns.(MBACP)

dawn@stepping-stones-counselling.co.uk.         

  www.steppingstonescounselling.co.uk

 

Contact Claire if you would be interested in future events.

 

                                                                  ……………………………………………………………………….

Our July workshop was a huge success…..

The weather was good to us, the group bonded through the different activities and left feeling a true sense of calm while also taking away several techniques they would like to incorporate into their daily lives.  Here are a few snaps from the July 2022 workshop.

 

Mandala